


While the day doesn't come

by alternate_me



Category: Black Sails
Genre: 04x10 spoilers, Angst, M/M, Minor Captain Flint | James McGraw/Thomas Hamilton, Minor Madi/John Silver, Silver says goodbye to Flint, they finally talk about their fucking feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 15:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20010253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternate_me/pseuds/alternate_me
Summary: John was discreet about it. He, Israel Hands and other two crew members composed the small party that took Flint to the farm in Savannah - where he would finally meet Thomas again. Silver had figured out a way to unmake Flint; now he only had to come up with a way to say goodbye to him.





	While the day doesn't come

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to see John and Flint's farewell, and this is how I imagined it. There may be some angsty shit in it.
> 
> An important warning: this happens in the last 15 minutes of the show, so, obviously, there are spoilers for episode 04x10. 
> 
> It's been a while since I've written something, so I hope this is good. If all goes according to plan, I'll write more Black Sails stuff shortly.

At first, Flint had asked several questions. It was expected, really. He was angry, and he was scared, as a man whose whole foundation had been shaken to its core. There were two things he was certain: Thomas was dead; and Silver would never lie to him about that. One of them ought to be wrong, but it didn’t feel like any of the alternatives to those truths were possible.

In the end, he chose to believe Silver, although, to be fair, he couldn’t _actually_ believe Thomas had been alive for all those years. He couldn’t grasp it. He couldn’t accept it. All the suffering, all the loss, all the things he had done for something that hadn’t happen. He was angry Thomas was alive. And he was unbearably happy at the same time.

There were too many fucking conflicting feelings at that moment.

John was discreet about it. He, Israel Hands and other two crew members composed the small party that took Flint to the farm in Savannah. The former captain spent most of the days of the journey in his cabin; and John gave him his space. There was no need to keep an eye on Flint, no apprehension about him scaping. Silver had won. He knew it, Flint knew it. He wouldn’t try to run away. The war was over, there was only a few more miles to go, and Flint would go over them pacifically.

Silver would wake up every day and sit on the stairs, at the side of the captain’s cabin. Sometimes, he would wait there the whole day before he could see Flint open the door and walk for a while on deck. Sometimes, he would even get a word or two from him.

John didn’t enjoy the silence treatment, but he knew he deserved it, he couldn’t ask for something else. He knew that the closer they got to Savannah, the more Flint would feel himself being unmade, and that ought to hurt. Once, McGraw had lost himself for having lost Thomas, now Flint was losing himself for having found him.

It wasn’t up until the last night that John really heard more than monosyllables from his captain. He had already gone below deck to sleep when Hands approached him with an upset expression. He’d never liked Flint, after all.

“He wants to see you”

John sighed and grabbed his crutch. 

“About damn time”

Flint had his back to the door when Silver entered the cabin. He didn’t turn around when John closed it shut behind him. There were candles on the main table, lightening poorly the room and their shapes, throwing weird shadow patterns on the walls. John waited.

“I was angry at you” were the first words that left Flint’s mouth “In most of these days, I was unbearably angry at you. However, it was frustrating to realize that, in other days, I was actually thankful to you”

“How are you feeling about me tonight?” John asked, he had to measure the situation, so he decided to tease a little bit “Should I worry?”

Flint didn’t turn to face him, but he could actually listen to the smirk in his voice.

“I’m not particularly inclined to killing you tonight”

“Well, that is always good news” Silver said, moving forward.

Flint was silent again. His gaze was fixed on something outside, even though there was nothing he could see. There was only water and darkness. Silver sighed, moving uncomfortably and straightening his posture, to better distribute his weight.

“You have every right to be angry at me. If there had been another way, I would-“

“You’ve told me that already”

“Well, then can you try and look at me at least?”

Flint ignored that.

“Have you considered it?” he interrupted “This journey ends tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ve been wishing for in ten years. Now that it is this close, it doesn’t seem real. Actually, nothing seems real since we’ve left Skeleton Island”

Flint finally turned around, looking at Silver’s eyes. His face was more peaceful than John would have expected; there was something inexplicably sad about it as well. 

“And tomorrow is the day we last see each other. That doesn’t seem real either”

He frowned, pacing forward just slightly before stopping again. He and John sustained each other’s look.

“I have considered it” John said.

“But have you _really_ considered it?” his eyes glowed with the intensity that was so characteristic of him. 

Silver would really miss that.

“I’ve given it some thought over the last few days” Flint continued “I’ve realized it’s been some time since you’re the _only_ one who actually knows me. And, for a shorter, but still relevant, period, I was the only one who actually knew you too”

John gulped down. So, they were going there. 

Flint had never directly talked to him about it. They went on and on about knowing what was in each other’s mind, and the crew certainly thought they had some kind of telepathic way of communication, but their conversations somehow only circled that topic. They never dug deep in how much they mattered in each other’s life. It had always been there, but never spoken about. Flint had probably never said that aloud, and John had only talked about it with Madi.

Silver broke eye contact, facing the floor, feeling the tension in his captain’s words. His heart was racing in his chest. No, there had been no one for a long time; and Flint had had such an impact in his life that John couldn’t see himself in a period of time before he met the man. All that he judged to be relevant had come afterwards. He felt an anxiety forming on his chest. He suddenly didn’t know whether he could picture a time after Flint too.

“I know” John said, breathing out “But tomorrow, you’ll have Thomas. A few days from now, I’ll have Madi again, if she takes me back” he scoffed, not succeeding at hiding his worries about the uncertainty of that last part.

“That is precisely my point” Flint said, frowning, there was a sudden pain in his eyes. He walked towards John, stopping one step away from him “The thing that kills me the most is to think that, even now, when I know that Thomas has been alive for all of these years, _you_ \- and not him - are still the only one I can say knows me truly”

Silver shook his head.

“Well, I’m flattered, but, what Thomas doesn’t know yet, he will know soon enough”

“Yet I don’t know if I wanted him to” his voice became desperate, his face contracted in evident suffering “Thomas didn’t fell in love with Flint. I don’t even know whether he can love the man I’ve grown to be. And there is _nothing_ I can do about it. The man he loves is long dead and buried”

John shortened the distance between them, his voice suddenly agonistic.

“He was, before you knew Thomas was alive, when you were still lost in rage. But you and I both know he is not anymore. These days, even though we haven’t talked much, I’ve watched you, Flint. I’ve seen him more clearly with each day that passed” he paused “And I’ve never seen him as clearly as I’m seeing you now”

Silver raised one hand slowly, as though he was expecting Flint to flee at any moment. He did retract instinctively when John placed the hand gently on the side of his face, but it didn’t take long for him to lean against it. He looked sad as he stared at John.

Flint had long ago made himself transparent to Silver. But he had never been so bare, so fragile, as in that moment. He was giving John his vulnerability, to care for him, to unmake him, whatever he found more fit.

“If you choose to show Thomas the side of you I first knew, for all I’ve heard of the man, I know for a fact that you don’t need to worry. He will grow to love Flint” he said, softly, letting his hand fall to the side of his body once again. He looked quickly down, before facing Flint again “And I’ll be glad that someone will love this side of you, even though I have loved it first”

Flint blinked at that, a bittersweet expression on his face as he placed his hands gently on the side of John’s face and pulled him into a kiss. John lost balance for a moment, before he held himself onto Flint. Their first kiss was soft; the second, full of a sudden excitement; the third tasted a bit of desperation as they parted.

The fourth was placed gently on John’s forehead.

John was standing supported by Flint’s arms. They held to each other, tightly, as though they hadn’t enough time to share long coming touches. They had never thought so much alike as in that moment. They both wished silently that the night lasted for days, months, years. They wished they would not have to be parted by the light of day.

*******

The sky was still gray, as it was just before dawn, when Flint left his cabin and walked to the side of the ship. He looked at the turbulent water in front of him, the turbulent water he would cross in a few moments to reach the shore for the last time.

John left the cabin a few moments after. He walked up to Flint and rested a hand on his shoulder. They stood there, the sensation of farewell still fresh on their mouths, until they heard the three men coming up from below deck. 

Silver let his hand drop to his side as they both turned, facing Israel and the other two crew members. 

“It’s time” Israel said “They said to drop him off early”

It had been decided that Silver would remain on the ship, as the others would first conduct Flint to the beach, then for a few miles into the land, till they reached the farm. He didn’t want to leave John yet, but it felt right to him, at that moment, that their first and last meeting would be held at sea.

They shared a few words before John said _“Oh, fuck it”_ , and hugged Flint tightly. They held on to each other for a long moment, and when they parted, Silver pulled Flint by the neck and kissed him. The former captain was surprised, paralyzed at first, before he could reciprocate the kiss.

John saw it as his fault that their true stories would be lost to civilization, especially Flint’s. History would wash the loyalty, the intelligence, the love out of that man, and leave behind just a monster. And so, because of that, he thought he owed it to Flint to allow them to be true to themselves in that last moment they shared. So, to whoever wanted to see it – which, in that case, were three other men and the now clear morning sky – they would fucking kiss if they felt like it.

When they parted, Silver threw a look at the shocked expression on the faces of the two crew members, and the realization on Israel’s eyes. 

“Do any of you have a problem with this?” he asked, his voice teasing – as the Silver Flint had first met -, yet with the authority he had grown to possess over time.

The men shook their heads vigorously, and Flint smirked slightly.

“Good” John said.

Flint was the last one to descent onto the small boat placed at the side of the ship. John kept looking at him as he got farther and farther away. He watched as Flint went into the water one last time, never to surface again. 

On the beach, the only ones who stepped out of the boat were two crew members, Israel Hands and James McGraw.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I really hope you guys have enjoyed it <3
> 
> And let me know what you think!


End file.
